Pam and Jim. Ben and Leslie. David and Patrick. Television has no shortage of love stories where romantic partners work together. There’s often drama, but most of the time, everyone is fine in the end. Real-life workplace relationships can be just as sweet, but they can also create conflict that has drastic ramifications at work and at home.
On a recent episode of HFMA’s Voices in Healthcare Finance podcast, Karin Hurt and David Dye, a married couple whose company Let’s Grow Leaders provides leadership training and tools, discussed how to navigate workplace relationships, including how to decide whether to get into one at all.
The decision to date at work
Hurt recommends not dating casually at work because a breakup could be uncomfortable for the couple and their coworkers. However, she also recommends being forthcoming when in a relationship.
“I would say, ‘Yeah, we’re dating,’ because otherwise the rumor mill goes,” she said. “And if you are on the same team, I would let your boss know. Otherwise, people sense these things, and you don’t want to be seen as someone who is sneaky.”
Dye said it’s also important to know whether there are any office policies around workplace relationships as well as unwritten rules around workplace conduct.
“Every organization is going to have specific rules around this,” he said. “And be aware of potential difficulties that [your relationship] can create for your teammates, who are not even a part of the relationship, but now you have privy information…because you’re talking about work outside of work.”
If done mindfully, however, dating a coworker can work out well, Hurt said. Having a partner who understands what a person faces during their work day can be a positive thing.
When your employees are dating
Hurt recommends managers not get involved in talking with direct reports who are dating “unless there is drama.” If, for example, the couple is beginning to leave their teammates out of important work conversations, the manager should step in and be clear about expectations of collaboration across the whole team.
Dye reiterated that knowing HR policies is important.
“Go talk to Human Resources and make sure you’re in line with whatever is going on company-wide so that you’re not making an exception for something and then creating problems for yourself down the line,” he said.
Making it work
Working with a romantic partner presents some challenges, especially when teaming up on work projects. Hurt and Dye shared a few examples from their own experience. Dye said it’s important to keep work life and personal life separate.
“It’s easy to assume because you’re in that relationship and because you have that understanding, to take one another for granted and not to extend the same courtesy to your partner that you would to a coworker,” he said. “I would never take this approach or this tone with a coworker, but did I just do that with Karin? Those things can…cause damage if we’re not careful.”
Hurt shared that role clarity has been important for the two of them in building their business.
“We merged two businesses that were very similar,” she said. “He was used to being the president and doing all things, and I was used to running the whole thing. Well, we can’t both run the whole thing.”
The two said that role clarity and communication is a constant effort, but it helps to have a foundation where both know who makes which decisions.
This episode was sponsored by Red Dot.
